it hurts more in the daytime
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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