yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize