she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
