he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
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Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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