Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
