I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
