i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
