I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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