the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
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I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
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whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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