I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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