In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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