I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
