I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
