The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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