In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
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The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
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You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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