Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
