my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
