I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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