I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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