I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
