We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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