2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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