you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
