I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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