Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
