they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
