i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you inspire me to be a worse person
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Randomize
