one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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