The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
