lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
