Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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