Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize