She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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