we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
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You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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