no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
