and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
