please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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