I am in a vortex of obligation.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
we should paint friendship bongs
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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