Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize