Non-Jews are for practice
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I fill condoms, not promises.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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