New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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