no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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