Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize