i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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