Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
