mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
