The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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