Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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