oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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