Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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