You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
