Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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