He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
