Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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