I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
